the Psalmist assures us that you walk with us in the darkest of valleys,
that your rod and staff will bring us comfort,
that we will find a banquet table set before us, even in the midst of our enemies,
that goodness and mercy will be our companions on the road of life.
We rest in the assurance that your promises are true and sure,
that you WILL lead us to green pastures,
that you WILL guide us to find still waters to nourish our souls.
But recently it seems every time I scroll through my news feed,
I walk away hungry.
I am famished.
Every time I come to the well for fresh hope and encouragement,
I find it bitter, or dry.
I am thirsty.
God of creation and re-creation,
the lyrics of the song ring in my ears,
“Let there be peace on earth,
and let it begin with me.”
But there seems to be anything but peace on this earth.
The bombings, shootings, rapes, and so much more have made the headlines.
But there are so many terrors in our world.
So much hate.
So much fear.
So many sorrows.
So many tears.
Sometimes I feel paralyzed,
unable to do anything that seems to matter.
You can seem so close, but I can’t seem to get to you.
I need my friends to lower me through the roof.
I can’t do this on my own anymore.
I never really could.
I have always needed you,
needed friends and family to help me.
there are times I’ve betrayed you when I thought my way was the right way,
there are times I’ve run when you needed someone, anyone, to stand as a witness,
there are times where I’ve denied you when all you needed was a single voice.
So I’m on my knees, God.
Praying that you’ll ask me, “Do you love me?”
Because my heart longs to shout, “YOU KNOW I DO!”
And my soul longs to hear your command,
“Feed my sheep.”
I need to be healed.
I need to hear your voice.
I need to see the world through your eyes.
Please, Holy Spirit.
I beg you,
tell me to pick up my mat and walk.
Stir the courage within me,
to listen past the thunder for your still, small, voice.
Put mud on my eyes,
that I might see the path before me.
Empower me to fight for justice,
in my home town and around the world.
Equip me to speak out against fear and hatred,
so all of your children can find hope.
God, through your words, the universe came into being,
speak your words of love,
so that I might be a conduit of love and hope.
“Feed my sheep.”
“Get up and walk.”
“You are my child, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life.”